Feeling bit better

Thanks Stuart for putting up with me last night - emailing backwards and forwards trying to solve my puter probs!

Had to put the computer back to its factory settings in the end! Well after backing up all my data!

Anyway, put me a day behind with my filming. Going to film all day tomorrow - hopefully have a film at the end of the day! No interruptions got my friends picking Joe up and Sam going to tea at a friends house so got all day! from 8.30 to 5.00 - hopefully lots can be done in that time. 

Went into college this morning - everyone stressing over gallery space! My space not decided yet - I got really fed up and annoyed - noone seemed to care about me! Then we got told that we have to contribute to another exhibition in the Hastings Station - more work but will be worth it! Also got lots more writing to do and got to get my sketch books sorted - will start putting together some of my sketch book work tonight - its all over the place at the moment.  Its dog eat dog at college at the mo - got to look after yourself. Then they tell me they want me film as soon as poss so it can go on the loop! flippin eck - anyway Im off to install my Creator 9 - new program to do me film. Hope it works - fed up with computers at the mo.

Love to you all and Im thinking of you even though I havent been to your journals.

Love Laine xxx

 

Wasted a whole evening

I just wasted a whole evening trying to sort out new laptop.

Flippin AOL is a nightmare - I might change ISP!!! I really think I might but I will miss AOL peeps - the peeps are the best. Journals are good.

Something wierd has happened to my lovely faithful laptop (my HP) - it says Im not connected to the internet and yet here I am! On aol on the internet - oh fed up with it all now!

The new puter is lovely I love it - but!! AOL dont like it - nope dont like it at all wont let it connect to my network - It does say you can get an AOL vista disc - but does that mean one puter on your network can be vista or do they think all of them are and then do we have to change the router - oh I think I will take Stuart's advise and buy XP programme to put on. Might be best I spose! More money!! Why did they invent Vista.

And John not HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! cry cry cry - Im crying - Im fed up and Im really gonna break something in a minute! Not done any of my work tonight - feel really fed up and stressed - hate being stressed and lonely - Im lonely I want John back - I need him tonight!!!

Sorry

Laine xxx

Bloomin puters!

Im really fed up now and time wasted!!! Im writing this on the PC - can you believe that! Ive now got two laptops and Im using the PC - the kids puter!!! yuk!!!  Awww Im being snobby about PCs now!

I set up the new laptop - no problem and got it on the internet - then my other laptop decides not to go on internet and now both dont go on it!!! It says the netgear is acquiring address or something and its been doing that for hours grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Why do I do it!!!

Laine xxxx

Saturday

How I love Saturday night TV - is that sad? I just absolutely love Any Dream Will do - where they are looking for a Joseph for the musical in London.  Joseph is my all time favourite musical - I love it, just love it! Guess why I've got a Joseph myself hee hee! Although my little Joe hates being called Joseph. I cry - I actually cry when they sing - it touches me! I love it so! I'll shut up now - we put Grease on as well - thats a load of rubbish! Nothing compared to our Josephs!

Well done to my lovely Sara - bless her doing my cross stitch - and looking all gorgeous! John's mum has finished hers - bless her - she didnt do any of her jobs all week so she could get it done - I really didn't want her to do it that quick - it made it hard for her - she is in her late 70s - I really so appreciate all the help Im getting.

Looking for another laptop today - sooooooooooooooooo hard to decide!!! Grrrrrrrr - we went to PC World, then to Currys then to Comet - now John is looking at Dells on the internet - we want it to replace the PC and be the server - also I need a new laptop to play my film at my degree show - We are going to build like a box thing for it to go in and then - well its hard to explain - but you will view the screen down like a shute thing - you know like they used to in the old days when they had those what the butler saw things. - I want to make it really personal and intimate - as thats what its all about - we did think of buying a screen and dvd player - but then decided a laptop would be of more use to us afterwards - and Im not putting this laptop in the show - oh no this one too too precious - my lovely HP notebook - I love it - wont part with this one!!  Anyway, we had to check if it would be ok with AOL - coz of course its all Vista now isnt it! Also I have bought a program called Easy Media Creator 9 and had to check that was ok with Vista too - beginning not to like Vista and we havent even got it yet! Anyway, thinks we might have new laptop tomorrow!! exciting!!!!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Laine xxx

p.s. not put my alerts back on yet - miss you all though and cant wait to get back properly to journals and see what you all up to.

Just to clear up the sex thing

I just want to say that I agree with my friend Joan in her comment last night.  I really should have talked about closeness, being soul mates - being caring to one another and intimacy - none of those really need sex! Coz one day me and John might not be able to do that - one day a lot of couple cant do that - but its really how close you can be with one another and trusting one and other and being there for each other.  Im glad Joan you reminded me of that. But sex is good though hee hee - only Im lucky enough to still have that part of our relationship!

The friend I talked about last night has no closeness at all in her marraige - she would love her husband to hold her hand, brush her face - tell her he loves her - it would mean more than sex - sex is just sex isnt it - making love is different. Oh blimey Ive started myself going on now so I will stop!! hee hee

Im gonna have some chocolate!

LOL

Laine xxxx

crikey 2.30am - Baby Im amazed by you!

Cant flippin sleep again - couldnt sleep the night before either or the night before that - it seems to go in phases of not being able to sleep - I hate it I hate it I do!  My legs get all fidgety (they call it fidgety leg syndrome!) - and my toes get the annoying pins and needles coz of my back and the two combined is a nightmare!!

You dont have to read this if you dont want to - Its a middle of the night ramble to so be warned.

+++++ censor warning +++++ dont read if your embarressed or shy about the s.e.x. word!hmmm i cant spell embarrased which is right I wonder?

Anyway, I dont know why but I feel like talking a little intimate - my mates and I were discussing the s word yesterday - it seems that most of my friends, in their relationships - that part has gone quite stale.  I feel very lucky that it hasnt in mine! I wonder sometimes why some people are still together. 

I was really cross with my friend - she was really down before she went on holiday - her husband never making a move and never interested in her sexually - she then tells me yesterday that whilst they were on holiday that he wanted her and tried it on and she said 'sorry cant be bothered'! Can you believe that!  How the hell they ever gonna get it together then! Really muddles my brain! She just pushed him further away by doing that! 

John and I are really lucky in that department - he really makes an effort and so do I - like today for instance it was like we were lovers for the first time again - all new and exciting - we text each other and flirt and it makes me feel so good - I really smile all day - and I really really do fall in love all over again. Such a lovely feeling.  I feel so sad for my friend but then I was in a loveless marraige for 16 years and so longed for a relationship like Ive got with John - and John was the same.

John and I feel lucky we have another chance and therefore make the most of it. I think its rare though - not many couples that have been together for six years are still so so in loveand feel that its first time every time!

There is a song by Lonestar called Amazed thats mine and John's song - these are the lyrics and I will leave you there as they just say everything about me and John:

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away

I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch everyplace in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spent the whole night in your eyes

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

And Yes I am still amazed by everything he does to me - ahem in the bedroom department!! yeee ha! LOL.

Laine xxxxxx

Happy

Feel like Ive done loads of work thats good - that makes me happy - Im so gonna prove my tutor wrong - now Ive set up all my friends I am now going to start the filming tomorrow!! yay!!

Went shopping today - bought a gorgeous top! I love all the lovely clothes in the shops at the mo - they make me feel good. I bought some stuff in Tesco the other day - two dresses and two tops - Im loving the flowy tops and the retro look. I can show off the only asset i got - me legs!! hee hee!!! John like em!! hee hee

Anyway, he just gone to get chinese - I know, naughty and I wont get into me dresses but they are flowy!! Hides the fat you see!!  Im having Duck in plum sauce yummy!!

Going out tomorrow night - its a Ladies night - wont go into details - but you can imagine what its going to be!! Yay not been out for a good girls night out for ages! Im gonna really enjoy meself!

Love Laine xxx

 

Late

John is back yay!!! Cuddles tonight yay!

Just recruited two more cross-stitchers - I now have lovely Sara, Lorraine, Zoe, Andrea, Doris (John's mum), Carol and Maria. Thats seven people!!! yay for the peeps! I've given Carol the one I got ready for Maria coz Carol noticed it was a message she sent me so she wanted to do it - thats really wierd isnt it now she will be labouring over her own message hee hee!!  Now Ive got to do another one for Maria. Then I can get on with filming me doing one!! All this preparation for everyone else and Ive not had time to get on with one myself but brilliant coz it means I got seven on the go and I needed ten and we got three weeks - I reckon we can do it!!! yay we can doooooooooooooooo it. 

Ordering my Bachelor of Arts gown tomorrow. Got to get all me measurements right first - dont want the hat falling off LOL!!! That would be funny!!!

I dreamt last night that I couldnt get the hat on and it kept falling off and I didnt get my degree at all!!! Ive got so many fears of failing - Ive come so far now and it dont seem real!

Im sorry I havent had my alerts on - and Ive not visited you all - but I still thinks of you all.

Im thinking of Diama today - she gone in for her surgery - Im praying that she comes through ok and she recovers well. Hugs for her from me.

See you soon peeps - I will be round journals soon - miss you all.

Laine xxx

 

My Cross stitches - entry for Jan

Just for Jan and anyone else who wants to know  - yes it is ok for other people to do my work - they are doing the labour for me - they are just doing the physical stuff - I make the patterns and its all my idea - alot of artists pay people to produce their work for them - some artists make work that they just couldnt possibly construct themselves - so yes I am allowed to let other people do the cross-stitches and beautifully done they will be too!! Look at artists like Anish Kapoor, Damien Hurst, Mark Dion , Tracy Emin, they all need people to help them create their art sometimes - but everything they do is all their idea and the people help them under their instruction. Just thought I'd give you that info as its quite interesting to know. Laine xxxxx

Feeling better

Sara Choccie bar on the way to you!!! yay!!! Galaxy one it is!!

John away tonight! Im feeling all lonely - kids all busy with friends - Joe outside playing football - Sam on computer with his friend. Hmmm kids dont want to talk to me when they busy - even dog is asleep!

I bought two games today for my DS - dont like them - selling them on ebay now - silly me - why did I buy them - I bought Lunar Genesis and My Vet Practice - what the hell came over me - I really dont know!

I did some more of my cross-stitch today and sent one to John's mum - bless her - she is going to do one now - I now have a team of cross-stitchers - Sara, Mia, Lorraine, Zoe and John's mum. awwww arent they all nice to me. So thats five being done and I want to get ten done - Ive also got to get this video sorted out - Im thinking of displaying it on a small screen and giving the viewer earphones so they can just take it all in to themselves - still not sure how to display the cross-stitches - hmmm any ideas welcome - I want to keep them personal looking.

Im going to come round visit you all tonight while I have the chance.

I miss you all.

Laine xxx

Nearly there.

I did my Career Development file - all done and handed in!

I did my presentation today - I did it about my time with Robsack Wood school on my work placement - it was received well and Im pleased with it. I did a power point presentation and Im just glad its all done now!

So far all the units I have completed for my degree have had good feedback and I have been graded well. But..................

My studio practice is not so good as I have been wrapped up with everything else I havent given it enough time - what with hospital trips and putting my all into the other units.  So therefore I only get a D+ at the moment as I dont have enough work to show - this is what my tutor said;

"Elaine came up with a sound idea in February - working with translating the immediacy of text messaging into the format of the sampler. Delivering the almost flow of consciousness texted message into the time laden and process heavy cross stitch of the victorian age. She is not interested in the sampler as an object but in the description of the time involved in recreating the text and in recording the sounds of life on the principles of the experience.

With only one short piece of film complete it is not possible to evaluate the potential for success at this stage and I have concerns that all considerable external pressures are impacting on this work. As a consequence at this interim point I have to grade this quite hard however, I do feel..." and then I need to get the next bit from him coz he photocopied it and I cant read it all - and I like howevers they mean positive dont they?

Anyway the grade he gave me is still a pass - just! I just got to prove him wrong that I can do this - hence why I got my workers beavering away doing cross-stitch for me - bless their little cottons - I really appreciate that! Anyway, I think that the cross-stitches are the important part so I dont know why he thinks that I am dismissing them - Im not - I think he wants me to do a film and Im not so keen - I will do a short piece of film but I really want to display the work as they are the living proof of my idea and they are important.  I just got to get my head down and work work work now.

Laine xxx

Message for the peeps

Yes Jan I kept my own alerts on hee hee - just like to update you now and then how Im doing.

Sara - WOW! your doing really well! Im so so grateful thank you so so much.

Ally I will let you see pics of me in my cap and gown - but only if I dont look ridiculous.

Stuart - thanks - didnt want to leave you out!! ha ha

 

 

Feeling more positive

Im feeling more positive like this degree is actually possible. Sara, bless her, has a cross stitch to do and last night I managed to get two more patterns made for my friends at work and they now have theirs to start too.

Two more patterns to make by Monday for my other two friends Carol and Mia (maria but we call her mia)

Nearly finished Professional Development file - just got to write up work placements and do a costing thing on excel as if I was an artist submitting work in the real world. Not sure if I will do that or not as I wont be doing that Ill be working at the school hopefully.

Also got to do a power point presentation I have to do on Monday as part of my exam for professional development - got to talk for 10 to 15 mins - I know what your thinking - be hard to shut me up! hee hee

I got the brochure for the award ceremony thats on in July - and I have to order my cap and gown now - it will be a Bachelor of Arts one!! whoooooooooo weeeeeee thats if I get through this next 4 weeks.

4 years of college has now become just four weeks! This is a wierd time for me - no more college after 4 years - my youngest will start senior school and I will once again be out in the world of work!!! wierd!!!

Anyway just wanted to update - Ive still got alerts turned off but I will drop by occassionally.

Love Laine xxx

 

How lovely are folk

When I struggled with my dissertation and needed help Stuart promptly said he would help me and he kindly did - will never forget that kindness.

Now when I need help and wondering how Im gonna do it all Sara - lovely, lovely Sara - says I'll help you Laine and bless her she is going to do a cross-stitch for me - Im going to send her a pattern and all the stuff and she is going to do it! How lovely is that - how kind and generous people are here on J-land - I got me two very special friends there.  Thank you so so much!!

Right I better get on!! Just wanted you all to know.

Laine xxxx

turning alerts off cant cope

So sorry peeps Im going to have to turn my alerts off til further notice - Ive really got to get my head down now - I only have 5 weeks left of college and my work is no where near getting there at the moment.

I had a tuturial today and my tutor thinks that I wont do it in time he graded me low and said that I should have been at this stage in February!  Its my cross stitch and filming - I havent filmed much of it and not got on with it as I was wrapped up in dissertation and now my professional development folder and my presentation I have to do on Monday so I have been stupidly brushing aside the actualy artwork not giving it enough time - for me to succeed Ive really got to put the time in so that means giving up journals for the next 5 weeks - my show will be on 2nd June so I only have then to film myself doing one cross stitch and then cross stich as many as I can to put up in my show - a couple of my friends said they would do some for me  - I might take them up on that. This is all my own fault - left it to the last minute and now Im paying for it.

I will keep in touch and let you know how things are going - Im so sorry that I wont be around much. Love to you all.

Laine xxxx

tension everywhere

Foot still hurts - getting on my nerves.

Not only was I up all night with my foot but Joe was up all night feeling ill - eventually he was sick this morning! I got stressed - couldnt cope - why do these things happen when Im due back to college?

Joe still seems poorly and my foot stil hurts - yes I said it again!

College was wierd - everyone stressing - our folders were supposed to be in today - mine wont be ready til next Monday.  My postcards dont arrive til Thursday and Andrew said he wants it in latest by Wednesday.  Some people are handing theirs in on Monday so its only fair if I do too! 

Lots of people did their presentations today - they were all stressed - everyone is stressed at college - we only have a few weeks to go.  The rest of us do our presentations next Monday - think I will do mine on my dissertation as I have all the material to hand - just got to put it into 15 minute slide show. The students who did theirs today complained that they were told where they went wrong and it gives the rest of us an advantage - not really fair on them I spose.

My pathway leader wants to see me tomorrow - I told him I not even started the cross stitching yet - he said it doesnt matter he just wants to chat to see that we are still on track - he wants to grade us with what we have done so far - I havent done anything so my grade will be pretty low then!

Why do we all leave things to the last minute?

Laine xx

Cant sleep again!

Im fed up! My back is really playing up - I get this pain in my foot - its like a pulling like someone has an elastic band and its pulling inside my foot with pain on it.  Its like someone has a hot poker and they are drawing something inside my foot up and down. It wont go - its constant - Im so so fed up with it. Cant sleep - got to go to college tomorrow and its driving me mad I will be so so tired! Taken some tablets - I hope it goes away soon - dont know how to relieve it - doctors say they can do nothing. hmmmph.   hmmmph.

Sunday

 

Hello as promised the photies are up! The first few entries I did today AOL wouldnt let me edit them with comments but done that now so sorry if you got lots of alerts for this entry!

Found out last night though that the 1GB memory card I have in my old phone, the N70, doesnt fit the new one!!! So I got to get  a new memory card!! drats!!! lol thats a good new word for us Sara LOL drats!

Right must go and get on with doing nothing! LOL Got loads of college stuff to do but just cant get into it!

Have a lovely Sunday.

Laine xxx

Tag from Chocolate Cherried Creations

Saturday

Last day of work today, yay!

Day of rest tomorrow, double yay!

Phone arrived today, triple yay!

The phone takes fantastic pics - will post them soon.

O2 taking ages sending me my code to keep my number I had with them! grrrrrr

Then when eventually they send me the code it takes Virgin 5 days to activate it, double grrrrr!

I did sleep well last night Sara!

Watched Any Dream will Do tonight - awwwwwww its great! Made me cry at the end when one had to go!

It also made me happy coz I sang along to all the songs! hee hee!

I get to lay in tomorrow! First time in ages!! YAY

Got to get all my work done tomorrow for college, and yes John I like going out for walks too - we went for a lovely walk in the woods today - it was a beautiful day!

Laine xxx

 

work work work

One minute no work - next minute loads! Im pretty tired and have to work tomorrow too! Im back to college Monday so work will stop - good that I was able to work so much in the holidays for the money but Im not used to it!

I've got nothing to say tonight - don't fall off your chairs!

LOL

Laine xxxx

Purdy the Puppy

Oh Purdy was just the cutest lil pup I'd ever seen, apart from Oscar of course. She is just 9 weeks old!! Awwwwwwwwwww!

I had lots of cuddles with her and she is just the soppiest loveliest puppy! hee hee - Anyway we are going back to see her later as John wants to see her - YAY!!!

Car failed its MOT yesterday - not so YAY. Anyway, its all sorted now and it passed today.  So thats that for another year. 

Joe has his friend round today and when his mum dropped him off she told me that a car went into their house last night. She was in ever such a state, bless her.  The car had reversed, very fast and got out of control and it hit their car and then went into their front door and all the brick work is damaged and it is really bad.  Felt so sorry for her - she said that the driver probably hasnt got any insurance and that the driver was also under the influence of alcohol.  The main thing is no-one was hurt but she was saying that they might have to be moved into another house. Such a shame.

I could not sleep last night and I got up.  My book, Watchers by Dean Koontz, was on the side so I picked it up and started it.  Still not finished my other one yet, 'This book will save your life'! Anyway, I got really into it and when I went back to sleep had nightmares LOL!!! Its good though thanks for recommending it to me Sara.

Only an hour and we go see puppy again!!

I've got to work tomorrow.

Got to do loads of college stuff over weekend - only have a week to get all my professional development stuff done. Where is the time going?

Keep wanting chocolate - just had a twirl!

Laine xx

 

For Sara and Stuart

Awwww Sara you are so so lovely!! Hee hee a pink one bless!!!

Anyway an N73 looks like this;

 3G phone with 3.2m pixel camera and music player!!

 

And the N95 is;

Think Im going to get the N73 as its much cheaper - can get it on virgin for about 74.00 pounds and the N95 is about 240!!! N95 is 5 mega pixel though!!

So might order N73 tomorrow - am excited!!!

Laine xxx

Time to buy a new phone

Love my phone - love Nokia.

Its time to change my phone again - thats the beauty of having a contract phone I get to change it once a year!

Last year I had an N70 and I love it - its so cool and takes brilliant pictures - but it is now time to change so what one shall I have next?

Hmmmm cant afford the N95 - so think I will go for the N73. I am with O2 at the moment but have found good deals on Virgin.  So might change to Virgin. I looked at the Sony Erricsons and the Samsungs but I really got to have Nokia!!

Sorry that was boring but thats all Ive done this evening is look at phones! LOL

Laine xx

 

Tuesday

Thanks guys for giving me your links! Anyone else I havent got - please let me know - its easier for me to go down that list instead of relying on alerts! And Sara, of course I got you hun!!! LOL

Work was good today - I didnt have to clean on my own - one of the supervisors was off sick so I did her job - quite enjoyed that - it meant Sara and I could have a good ole gossip together. (That's Sara at work Sara not our Sara LOL)

Kids are being good - they are happy - I set them up scrap booking and drawing and writing journals - bought them loads of pens and paper today and they got loads of photos printed at Jessops - that will keep them busy for a while!

Got Marks and Spencer Chicken tonight - mmmmmmmm - its not just Chicken its M&S chicken LOL!

Meeting Judy and Lorraine tonight for a swim then coffee after! YAY - I might ask Lorraine to pick me up then I can have a pint - even more YAY!!!

Dont know what game to get next for my DS - any ideas?

Im working again tomorrow - car goes in for MOT (fingers crossed)!

Thursday morning see Judy's pup!!! awwww cant wait!!!

Working again Friday and possible Saturday. Well money comes in handy!

Not much else to say really - better get on with the tea!!

Laine xxx

Side Bar

Trying to tidy up my journal and can you let me know if your not on my sidebar and I will add you on. Thanks Laine xxx  If your not on and you want me to put you on can you send me your link too!!! Thanks xxxx

Galaxy Chocolate (not an advertisement!)

You are all truly good for me - you lift my spirits up! I need them lifting at the moment - dont know why I feel so fed up! Yep - it's there, it's beside me - it's looking, it's beckoning and yep Im gonna eat it and Im gonna enjoy it! My bar of Galaxy.

John just taken the boys out - and my oh my what peace - we have got the three of them all week this week.  I'm working all week apart from Thursday - one minute I have no work - the next I have loads!!  So no decorating this week - in fact I have made a pact with the boys - they have to keep their room tidy or I wont be decorating it in the summer. Of course, I will buy them new beds but I wont decorate if they cant keep it tidy.  Im making a chart and if they get 15 crosses in the next 8 weeks then they wont get it done and Im sticking to it! I will be checking their bedroom twice a week.

My friend picked up her puppy yesterday a Boxador - awwww Im going to see her on Thursday and I promise pics of her on my journal that evening!!! (Cross Lab/Boxer!) She called her Purdy. Judy said that her family is now complete - how sweet!!!

Im a bit slow on reading journals but I will get round you eventually!

Take care

Laine xxxx

P.s. help yourself to my Galaxy if you want some! Especially Sara - as its her favourite!

Thank you so much

You are all lovely to me! Thank you so much for all your kind comments - but do you know what I mean when you feel really down about yourself - well I cant help it but thats how I feel at the moment.  Trouble is I cant refuse chocolate - but I look in the mirror and all I see is fat.  The boys just come back from shops and bought me a bar of galaxy, a twirl and a bag of shots!! So me being a huge chocolate fan is very pleased - but tummy will not get slimmer that way!

You are all so good - do you know you all made me smile - every one of you!! Thank you.

Laine xxxx

Proof of how fat I am at the mo!!

Well I didnt sleep much last night as you know!  But, I felt better this morning and instead of Leeds Castle we decided to go to Groombridge Place coz you can go swinging in the trees there and I wanted to do that!!

 

Blimey it was busy!! We only got a little go on the swings - Chris and Em didnt even want to bother but me, John and Tom had a go - even if it was only a little go.  It was hot today!! Phew!! Got sunburnt. Didnt think about cream!! Yikes!!

 

Oh, and there is proof in them there photos that Im fat and ugly and horrible at the moment and crikey I said to John look Ive walked round looking like that all day!!! Cant believe Im so fat!! OOOOOOH I cant diet - Sara help me pleeeeeeeeeeeeese!! LOL.

 

Neway, enough moaning - keep doing that dont I!! Im off to work tomorrow - more exercise hopefully get rid of that fat!!

 

Hope yall have a great Easter

 

Love Laine xxxxx

 

Can't Sleep

I can't sleep - its 01:56am! It's my back - it gets me down - it will never heal. I should go back to the hospital but they dont do anything. 

Its annoying having a foot that will never be normal - always pins and needles in my toes - drives me mad! Always my leg will be numb and I cant walk properly - Im only 41 and Im a flippin invalid! Hate it when people say 'your limping' - I know!!!!! I dont need reminding!!!

Im fat! Hate myself at the moment - Im really fat! I dont look good in clothes and I just cant stop eating - love my food. 

Got loads of work to do for college - not done any in the last week or so! Really depressed about that really.  I've got only about 7 weeks left to get it all done. I'm excited about it all but then I dont get down and do it. I keep putting it off - why? Admitedly Ive been working for the last 5 days so havent had time to do college stuff and it is the holidays and John and I have been out and about - but I really must get on now.  Then there is the boys room to decorate over the next week - I really want to decorate their room but I really need to get on with college stuff too.  Oh dont listen to me Im rambling on coz Im up in the middle of the night feeling sorry for myself!

My book is good - 'This Book will save your life' - Im halfway through - I only read it at night these days - no time during the day. I keep falling asleep with book in hand. It is good, its funny and quite deep and thoughtful. I cant wait to read the next book - I have two lined up.

I'm really snappy with John - I must stop that! Dont know why I do it!

Spoke to my friend whose husband left her for someone else - the pain she is going through is unbearable - I really dont know how she is coping but Im so proud of the way she is keeping her dignity - she has not lost it with him - she is so calm! I invited her to come stay with us for a few days - she said she might just do that! Bless her - I cant imagine how it must feel to have the man of your dreams turn round and tell you they are in love with someone else! Crikey I really must stop snapping at John - I dont know how lucky I am!

Some lovely people on this here J-land - I really really love being part of this community - it makes you appreciate things you have and the world around you. Its really good that we can share stuff - even if peeps arent reading this - its good to just let it all out. Hmm dont even know what it is Im letting out LOL

Take care yall

Laine xxx

 

Saturday

Had a lovely day with John - worked this morning and John helped again.

We phoned Emma while I was at work - we arranged to see her and Tom tomorrow at Leeds Castle - they bringing Chris too and we are all going to have a picnic there.  Emma and Tom lost the flat they were going for - the landlady decided not to rent. They dont seem that disappointed - still it gives them more time to save up.

John and I went to our favourite tea room in Litlington, East Sussex - had a lovely cream tea and went for a lovely walk down by the side of Cuckmere Haven.  It was a beautiful day today!

John and I then went on a missionto find Arlington Reservoir as we had never been there before - we found it and decided we will take the boys there on Monday  - you can walk round the reservoir in an hour.  It looks lovely!

We then came home and watched our programmes! Grease and Any Dream will do - two of my fav musicals - oh I love Joseph!!!  Im singing to it all the time now - hee hee!

About 9.30pm tonight we were bored and I wanted to see the stars so John and I drove to the seafront then we drove up to Battle and had a walk - it was nice!! I love being out and about at the moment - I feel like I need to be outside alot!

Laine xxxxx

Happy Easter to you all!!

 

back online

Well eventually after most of last night I did get back online - I never had a chance to read everyone's journals - sorry about that!  Anyway, it was the router it needed to be switched off and put back on again as it went off line!! Bloomin thing!! I thought it was my lovely laptop gone wrong - oooooh how I panicked - just goes to show how much we rely on the internet - I was beside myself when I couldnt get on it!  Anyway, glad that is sorted now. Sara thanks for the pink sparkly thoughts - I felt all pink today.

John and I were naughty yesterday and bought ourselves some more Easter eggs!! yum!! All the kids are not here til Sunday evening and they have had all their eggs and John and I felt like having chocolate last night hee hee!!!

Been to work this morning and it was nice because John came and helped - was still hard work though!  Hate working when the weather is so lovely! Still Im finished now - its only 1.35pm and we have the rest of the day to ourselves!

Hope to get to journals later on this evening - off out into the garden now for deep fried camembert and granary bread and cranberry sauce - mmmmmmmmm!!

Love Laine xxx

p.s. see Sara Im still in the pink!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Flippin AOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's just say its taken me 4 hours just to get to my journal - fed up now and really really really annoyed with AOL - and do you know I cant even uninstall it!!! Hate it - fed up!!!

Laine xx

Hospital trip over

Well once again Sam was a very brave boy - don't think I would have been brave as him - they couldnt find a good place to put the line in and he had to put up with a lot - but they eventually did get a line in and quite a few bruises later he was fine.  They said that they were testing for Quarterzol or something - now I have know idea how that is spelt but it is the hormone that helps the growth hormone.

Then he had his MRI scan and another line had to be put in and they had trouble again - his veins just didnt want to show - he did really well in the scan til the last few minutes and he pressed the panic button - I was with him all through it - he was a good boy and its all done now - just got to wait til May for results.

We go and meet Joe in a minute - my Mum and Dad bringing him back - we are going to meet at Abbots Woods - which is half way between our house and my mum and dads - so we will prob take Oscar for an early evening stroll there.

The boys then go to their Dad's tomorrow and Im working - also work Friday, Saturday and Monday! Glad to get the money really.

Hope you are all fine - and didnt we have a nice tea at Sara's LOL

Laine xxxx

 

London tomorrow

Hi all.

Taking Sam to London tomorrow to the University College London Hospital.  He has tests at 9.00am (they wanted us there at 8!) and then he has an MRI scan at 11.30.  We have got to get up at 5!! EEK (But Sara we should be there in time for tea!)

Took Joe over to my mum's today - had a really lazy day and didnt do much really but was nice to see my Mum and Dad.

Sorry Ive not read many journals - I will try catch up with some tonight - Ive hardly been indoors just lately!

Take care all.

Laine xxxxx

Garfield eats spring!

 

Put my tag at the top as it so so cute it deserved to be! Thanks to Chocolate Cherried Creations. Clever girl Diama!

Sorry not read any journals this weekend but we have been out in the beautiful weather - making the most of it - I will try catch up tonight - I promise!

We went to Bedgebury Forest, Kent yesterday a fantastic place they had this Forest Adventure for kids (mainly over 16's) and they could climb through trees and fly and everything. Check it out at www.goape.co.uk.  Was really expensive though - If we had taken all the kids on it - it would have cost £130!! Under 16's are not allowed without adults. Apart from the adventure park there are some beautiful walks - it was lovely.

My step-daughter rang John and I yesterday to tell us that she is going to move in with her boyfriend - they have signed up to rent a flat and they get it in three weeks time - John and I tried to advise her to save up a bit first but how do stop young love! We told her we were very excited for her - she moves in on her 19th birthday! Alot of parents would have a go and tell they they are too young - but no point having a go - they will do what they want anyway - the main thing is is to be there for them - we always try to support her in what she does and share in their excitement. She is a very sensible girl and they both have very good jobs and Im sure they will enjoy starting a new life together. Awww thats the first of our five to leave the nest!

Right, Im just off to take the kids to the park now with Oscar doodles.  Oscar cant believe everyone is around on a Monday!! hee hee

Oh, and I pick up Fluke today, YAY!

Oh and can't miss Corrie tonight - Is Tracy guilty or not guilty?

Laine xxxxx