Saturday, 30 June 2007

Rainy day Saturday

Rain rain go away come again another day!

Shrek III ok - just ok - thing is Shrek and Shrek II are so fantastic how do you live up to them! I fell asleep! So Joan I did a Rob! LOL Still go watch it though Diama - I think you need to see it - its just not as good as the others. I still love Shrek!

Oscar is looking longingly out the french doors - hmmm he wants to go walking in the rain! Might go in a minute if it eases off.

Weather report for Hastings, rain Sunday, rain Monday, rain Tuesday - oh and more rain on Wednesday! So its gonna rain then!

The boys just played football outside in the rain.

John has just gone shopping up to Tesco in the rain.

I might walk the dog in the rain.

I'm a bit fed up as we dont have any money at the mo - hmmmmmph.  Hate money it makes you fed up and you dont want it to! My boys Dad had suddenly stopped paying maintenance without any warning - he owes us £600 now! If he dont pay this month's then it will be £900. He is taking the boys out to dinner tomorrow - how can he afford that if he cant afford the maintenance?  Already in the past he has owed me a couple of thousand and I had to get it back through the courts which took forever - I really hope I dont have to do all that again.  John has never ever ever missed a maintenance payment even when we are struggling.  Of course, me being a student for the last 5 years hasnt helped matters and we are struggling but now he has stopped it makes matters worse. Be so much easier when Im getting a wage coming in - there hasnt even been any work at the holiday park. I hope he pays us soon - I dont want to have a go at him just yet.

Anyway sorry to harp on about all my troubles!! Think its this rain - I feel like Eeoyre!!! LOL

He is kind of gloomy!!

... eeyore_rain.jpg 10-Mar-1997 ...

Lainey Laine xxxxxxxxxxx


Friday, 29 June 2007

Shrek III

Going to see Shrek III tomorrow - awwwwwww I just love that donkey!!!!! He really rocks.




Check out the website - I just downloaded loads of wallpapers and cool stuff and that - its brilliant!!!

Laine xxxx

Thank you

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and congrats - when I heard the news about my job I couldnt wait to tell you all my journal friends.  Your all so lovely and lovely Sara put a really lovely congrats for me in her journal which Im putting in mine now to keep forever!!!!

See isnt she lovely!!! Awwwwwwww loves that Sara thank you!!!!!

Postal strike today so we wont get our degree results for ages yet!!! They apparently posted them yesterday but we wont get them til Tuesday!!!

Another rainy day!! Oh well!

Hope you are all ok.

Love Lainey



Thursday, 28 June 2007



I got the job!!!!


Just been talking to my lovely friend Joan telling her all about my job - so sorry Joan you got to read it all again!! hee hee Joan is waiting to hear about her future in her job so pop over and give her some good luck!! Good luck Joan I hope you get your interview!

I will be working 15 hours a week with two boys that are brothers, they will be new to the school and will need help and support on a one-to-one.  Start in September. Its temporary at first and apparently thats always the case as funding for the boys isnt confirmed for the whole year - its only confirmed for the first two terms. YAY!!!!

Eileen thanks for your email - cant believe you lost me!!! hee hee!!

Sara - I bought a new Dean Koontz today - your fault you got me into him!!! I bought  'False Memory'.

Love Laine xxxx



Tuesday, 26 June 2007

Interview over

Hi All,

Well Ive been - Ive done it - Im not sure how it went - how can you tell?

All I know is that there were over 100 applicants and I made the final 20 for interview - so thats good anyway!!

There were six of us there for interview all waiting in reception.  The girls waiting round me were looking so nervous - I wondered if I looked the same.  Then the cleaner came past 'Hi Elaine, how are you, have you finished your degree?' - I chatted to her.  Then a teacher I knew came past, ' Hi Elaine - good luck!' - Then another teacher came past 'OOOH Elaine I need to tell you about Thursday!' - Well the girls all looked at me as if to say - well she is well in here then. But that is not the case - yes I am well in with the school - I do alot for them but I still had to be interviewed like everyone else and it was still nerve racking and hard and Im not sure if I did it or not!!

First of all we all went in together for a group interview - the Head told us all about the positions available - 5 apparently!! So 20 of us going for 5 jobs - Im in for a chance maybe!!  The group interview was ok - everyone all so polite and that.  We had to draw some pictures in three minutes that spoke about ourselves then we had to read them out.  I quite enjoyed that bit.

Then we all went back into the staff room - then we were called one by one - I went last!! I spent most of the time reassuring the girls that were sat waiting that they would be ok and gave them interview tips!! Thats just me isnt it!! Blimey I might have even put them with an advantage!! Oh well I cant help helping people even when they are my competition.

My turn finally came and I found it quite daunting - questions thrown at me like bullets - these people that normally are so familiar and nice to me suddenly became like huge giants that had lots of power - the power to my future!! EEEEK  Im not sure if I answered the questions right or not, Im not sure if I babbled or not? I cant even remember what I said most of the time - I just hope I was ok - the thing is they know me but I had to pretend they didnt know me and really sell myself - I hope I did! We wont know for about 4-5 days - so another waiting game!

All I can do now is wait!

Laine xxxx

Monday, 25 June 2007


Postman came- highlight of my day! Not much else going on - oh yeah Ive got to let my friend's dog out for her as she is working. Everyone working or at school - me here bored and feeling useless.

So much to do but I just cant get motivated to do it!

Had letter from school about interview tomorrow. Its at 330pm and Im told to allow 3 hours for the process as all candidates will be there. There will be an informal group interview and a formal interview.  What if I dont get the job!!!! Im sooo nervous.

Laine xxxxx

Sunday, 24 June 2007

The See Show pics at last

Well I finally felt like doing some pics of my show - I still dont know my results but it should be soon!! Here are the pics of my show Please visit the website to see what us students have been up to or up to now - not much probably we still getting over the degree!! ha ha.

This is the first bit of my little room with my cross stitched messages.

Look my lovely Sara there is yours!!

You turned the corner then you saw the film!

This was looking from the film room of my installation out to the corridor.

Right tomorrow I will post more of the show from of the other artists work.

Im still feeling wierd - I wonder why.

I hate Sunday evenings at the moment - it means a long week ahead of nothingness. I hate it! Also I love being with everyone at the weekend - the kids and John - we went fishing yesterday Me, John and Chris whilst Sam and Joe went swimming with my mate Carol.  Then last night we went to my friend Joe's house and we played his game called Risk. We played with little soldiers and you had to conquer the world - it was fantastic - it took about 4 hours and we didnt even finish - I won!!! I managed to make a really strong army and I defended really well - I love computer games but you cant beat the old board games - it was a great evening.  Now Sunday evening is here and Im sad - John just gone off to take Chris home and its all I dont know funny and wierd. Hmmmmm!

I sold my old phone and I found a beautiful pic I took months ago when we were on Camber Sands.

Awwww how I want to be walking along those sands with John now - hand in hand - I feel like crying - why is that?

I just wish life was one big holiday with lots to do! Im bored and I dont know what to do with myself - Im at my happiest when Im with my family and we are having fun - I realised that last night when we were playing the game - I was happy!

Laine xxxxxx


Saturday, 23 June 2007

Can we help Gill and Royston please

The comment below was left for me from Gill and Royston and it speaks for itself - be good if we could all support them! Thanks everyone! Laine xxxxx

Hi Good Luck for the interview Elainey! I wonder if you could do me a favour. I have worked for the last ten years at Crosshill Special School in Blackburn, the Council are after closing us down under BSF (Building schools for the future) and we are campaining against it. they want to build a super school (a big campus!) but our pupils thrive far better in a small school with our mainstream links. We have just put a protest song and video on youtube, if you go on and type in Crosshill it comes on ! We are also going to be on Granada Reports on Monday at 6 pm. We are collecting signatures and we have collected over 7,000 so far. We have our own Crosshill School website  and people can sign the petition online. Could you alert people on AOL journals. We would love your support. Thanks Elainey ! love Gill and royston xx
P.S. Paddy from Emerdale came in to visit and we have his support and the local newspaper "Lancashire Evening Telegraph' is publishing articles about us and being in full support!
#6 Comment from
gillandroyston - 22/06/07 19:25

Friday, 22 June 2007


Well I gave in my application form yesterday and today was the closing date.  I didnt expect to hear anything today but I did!!  Ive got an interview on Tuesday at 3.30!!! EEEEEEEEEK This is it guys - my next step to my future! Ive not had an interview for a job for about 7 years!!!  I will have to sort through all my clothes and find something smart to wear - I dont own any smart clothes!! yikes!!

Started to watch BB a bit more - its a bit better but still Im still not an avid watcher as I have been in the past.

Ive got to write a story for my next English class - cant think of one - does anyone want to give me a title or idea to work with?

Hope you are all well and have a great weekend.

Love Laine xxx

Thursday, 21 June 2007

Hello everyone

Hi everyone,

Well I've decided to make an appearance whether you want me or not! Ha ha.

I'm going to try get round some of your journals tonight. I miss not knowing what you are all up to - I feel out of touch but at the same time find it hard to keep up! Do you know what I mean?

I do feel better ish LOL! I'm starting to get myself motivated and doing stuff.  I joined an English GCSE group today to brush up on my English - I really enjoyed it! It was nice meeting lots of people from different backgrounds and we all had a story to tell. There was a lady who had been brought up in Dr Barnados homes and was pushed from pillar to post as a little girl - her story was touching.  There was a lady who had lived on the streets for six and a half years - her story we are yet to hear - Im not sure if she will share it with us - but she was a lovely lovely lady. A girl next to me had manic drepression - she had a word for it but I cant remember it now - bio something. Each and every one of us had some sort of reason why we had not done English well at school.  I think Im going to enjoy it - Im going to be writing lots of stories and reading Of Mice and Men and Othello!!! Not done any shakespeare in my life!!! I have read John Steinbeck novels but only a few when I was at school.

I put my application form into the school today - that took me a long time to do! I hope its ok!! Fingers crossed!

Today is the day that our grades are decided! Fingers crossed again!!

I must post some pics soon!

Laine xxxx

p.s. Im not sure if I like Big Brother much this time - Im not watching it like I used to! I can't stand that Charlie she is driving me bonkers!


Monday, 18 June 2007

Feeling bit better

Hi all,

I'm slowly getting better. Wierd that feeling of depression - you don't know why you feel so down. No-one else understands you and you dont even understand yourself.  Im really sorry I havent visited any of your journals - I just keep looking at all the alerts piling up in my inbox and I cant deal with them! I dont even feel like writing my journal either.

Ive been out and about loads though - Ive been making the most of the weather when its nice - I feel its better than being on the computer all the time.  I think thats part of it - I need to break away from the computer more and enjoy the out doors while the weather is good.  Ive been walking loads with my dog and even went fishing on Saturday which is something I thought I would never do! I caught three fish!! yay!! Put them back though - poor little fishies dont want to hurt them!

John and I have decided after a lovely walk through a caravan park the other day that we are going to buy a caravan next year when Im earning. So that cheered me up - something to look forward to.  Things like money and stuff have got me down just recently.  John and I really love the outdoor life and I can just imagine us in the lakes with our little caravan - sounds like heaven to me.

Ive been reading alot and I finished my book, Watchers, Dean Koontz. Fantastic book - thoroughly enjoyed it and I would love to read one of his books again. My next book is Fluke by James Herbert.

Ive got my application form to fill out for the school - a Teaching Assistant position has come up - cant remember if I told you all. Anyway, this is my next step to the path of my teaching - I have to work in a school for about a year first before I can do the graduate training programme.  Going to fill that out tomorrow and Im meeting one of the teacher's after school so she can look at it for me to check it and make sure its what they want.

I hope you are all ok and enjoying the weather when we get it.  I will try and visit you all again soon. Im glad I made an entry today - I wasnt going to but now Im glad I did it made me feel a little better - I am much happier - just still feel wierd.

Love Laine xxxxx

Friday, 15 June 2007


I'm just doing an entry for my lovely friend Sara who is missing me - I'm soooo sorry I haven't been visiting your journals or writing my own - just going through a bit of a bad time at the moment - I'm ok so don't worry - just a bit down at the mo and haven't felt like writing. Please don't worry I'm ok! I'm still here just alot to sort out at home thats all.

Laine xxxx

Monday, 11 June 2007

still fed up and bored


Ewwwwwww look what I caught from Donna's journal not one bug but loads!!!! I hope you dont catch them!


Im feeling a bit better today - Ive chatted with a good friend that I made here on Journals - she was there for me she was! Bless her and she really helped too - plus we had to share a bar of galaxy but I ate most of it! hee hee


I just want to share with you all that John wasnt that happy with me last night and it all ended in tears but we are back on track again today. I just hope I can shift myself out of this rut - I laid in bed all morning feeling sorry for myself - just want to sleep and I havent washed my hair! Not like me.

Anyway, Im going to change my journal - the look and the name - Stuart came up with a good one but Im not sure I will be at large Stuart LOL - I cant even get out of bed!!! ha ha

Right off to do nothing - until I pick the boys up - hmm all those weeks I longed to do nothing and now I hate doing nothing LOL!

Laine xx



thinking of new journal name

Hi everyone

Im thinking of renaming my journal as Im not doing a degree anymore - its all done - over now! Its time to move forward.  Can anyone think of a good name I could change it to and if I do change the name of my journal does everyone still get the alerts?

Laine xxx

Sunday, 10 June 2007


Thank you so so much for all your comments they really mean alot to me.

Im still no better today - infact Im worse today - sorry to tell you.  Im really just writing in here to get it all out - so if you dont want to read it I'll understand.

I dont think John is understanding me - and that hurts the most - either that or he is ignoring me and hopes it will just go away.

The thing is that when your normally a bubbly happy-go-lucky person, like me, and then you suddenly feel very sad and moody and you dont know why, and you cant stop it and everything and anything seems an impossibility! well people cant handle it they think that you should just snap out of it.

Trouble is I feel like I cant snap out of it - and anything that happens or anything John does seems wrong to me. Like this morning he decided to go fishing and I felt left out - even though I knew I could have gone - but instead I stayed at home feeling sorry for myself.  But, also John isnt coming near me - no cuddles or asking me if Im alright - why is it that when you need that the most they just dont come near you! Why is it that when he is in a mood and depressed thats ok but its not ok for me!

We took my show down this afternoon and I notice little silly things like John walking ahead of me and not waiting to hold my hand.

Then he and Christopher went fishing again - I stayed away because I didnt want to spoil their afternoon if I was moody.  It annoyed me that John never insisted I came with him - cant win can he!

Then he said we would go for a walk - we went for a little walk and it was hurried - he kept looking at his watch - and he walked in front of me again and never attempted to hold my hand - we always hold hands when we walk! I know I could have held his but I just need him to tell me he loves me.  When we came home I asked to talk to him then Christopher came out and I couldnt talk to him.  Then he took Christopher home so we didnt get the chance - he is gone now and I am so so sad - I want to cry again.

Thanks for listening

Laine xxxx


So sorry I haven't posted any pics of my show yet and I have also not looked at any of my alerts.

I feel so wierd - I think Im a bit depressed or something - I have not been very well for the past couple of days. I have felt really really groggy like you do when you've taken loads of pain killers but felt like it constantly. Very very tired and very sad.

I should be happy and elated this is a new beginning to my life.  Why do I feel so depressed and that everyone is against me.  I snapped at everyone yesterday (tears falling as I write). John woke up this morning early and said he was going fishing with the boys - I cried and cried - why? I could have gone with them but no I get all funny and say no Ive got loads to do here pointing to the pile of washing up and the kids school uniforms to get ready. Why the hell didnt I just smile and say oooh thats nice how lovely I will come (now Im really crying!) Whats wrong with me Im so so sad I want to cry and cry all the time and John is really cross with me now - he doesnt understand he thinks Im just spoiling their fun - Im not I just dont know what to do with myself. Then I stop feeling sad and get all moody and think oh why dont you all just clear off and leave me alone!

John just left for fishing and said to me why dont you come? I said no Im not coming but really I wanted to go!!!

Oh dear - I really dont know what to do with myself.

Laine xxxxx

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

what a day

Well I got my alerts back on, so I will look at them later - ooooh how posh it now tells you what journal it is! lol have they been off that long.

The examiner came in - she was really nice - she really interrogated us about the course - it seemed she wanted to know about our welfare and how we liked it more than our actual work - she seemed to like my work though - she said it was conceptual - yay!!! She was nice - I liked her!

Hey Stuart I got a 2:1 for my dissertation - yay!!!!!! Thanks to you for your advise on that!

Right need to catch up with alerts!

Oh, I forgot to say - Ive got my cousin staying here for a couple of days, the one who lost her mum, bless her.  Can you believe the funeral is not til 13th! There has been alot of family arguing - awful when someone has died.

Love Laine xxxx

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Turned alerts back on

I just turned my alerts back on! That takes ages!! I wish there was a button that says select all and you can do them all at once!

Had a great day down at my show today - my tutor Sonja came along and she gave me great feedback - she said she was very proud of me and that I had come along way.  She also said that Gina (my friend) and I should do another exhibition of our work soon. Sonja said if I dont get a good mark she will charge down the college and ask them why! LOL

The examiners are in tomorrow - we have to hang around near the gallery all day incase they want to talk to us - I think they might talk to all of us - I will be nervous but in a way its good that they see us as person and not just our work.

I still feel wierd - I think its because we are all in limbo land at the moment - all 22 of us - not knowing what result we have got!  We are all worrying!

I took some pics today - I will put them on soon.

Love Laine xx


Monday, 4 June 2007


Feeling sad - no more school for me! :(

4 years ago I used to go to an organisation called Horizons - they provide free education for local people - and are funded by the government.  They are the one's that got me into going to college and helped me get where I am now.  Well I phoned them today and they welcomed me back with open arms.  I was feeling empty today and didn't have anything to hold on to - hard to explain.  I know I havent got my results yet - but I'm really nervous about those and I want to belong somewhere again. I know, I know its early days yet. Anyway, I'm going for an interview at Horizons next week - I'm going to be a student there again.  I'm going to do a Learner Support Course - learn how to support teachers and its credited and Im going to do ways into English so I can find out what level my English is so I might do GCSE next year! Feel better now and excited yay!!

Thanks for all your lovely comments - internal examination today eeeeeeeek - external on Wednesday - double eeeeeeeeeek.

Can someone tell me how to put the alerts back on - do I have to do them one by one!!! Cant see a way of turning them all on at once!!

Im going to come back visit you all - can't believe I've just fnished 4 years of college!!! Well Im going to start again with something else!! hee hee

Love Laine xxxx

p.s. when I get my degree does that mean I can actually call myself an artist? OOOOOOOh how posh!


Sunday, 3 June 2007

Our website

Yay our website is now up and running - I put on the link to me yes me!!! LOL

Laine xxxx

Thank you and it went well

Hi All

Thanks for all your lovely comments and good wishes yesterday.

I had a lovely evening - my Mum and Dad bought me a huge and I mean huge! boquet of flowers I felt like I was getting married or somehing LOL!! I was really chuffed!

Phil and Catherin (my brother and his wife) and my little nephew Stanley came all the way down from Norwich to see me and my show. They gave me a book on Tracey Emin - I already had it so they will get me a book token. I didnt expect pressies!! yay!!

The show went well and it all looked great! I am down there on Thursday so I will take pics then and let you see the show. My tutors all seemed impressed with my work!

Im now working on my back up studies - getting all my sketch books up to date and writing my review of the year. We need to hand it all in tomorrow. Internal examiners tomorrow then external examiners on Wednesday!! EEEEEK now for the crunch!!!

Right I better get on with it!!

Laine xxxx

Saturday, 2 June 2007

Show Time!

Well it's show time folks - the end is here!! It's my private view tonight! yikes!!

Im looking forward to a good drink and chat with my friends.

I still got tons of work to do tomorrow - finalising my sketch books and writing my review which is to be handed in on Monday - then Im all done!!

Examiners come in on Wednesday - eeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

Im pleased with my show and its what I wanted.

Sara glad you got your books - my pleasure!

Laine xxxxxxxx