Thesis

Im making a good start - it still seems bewildering to me - Ive had a phobia about this for ages - written nearly 2,000 words that Im happy with now.  Still keep wondering what Im going to write for the next 3,000!!  Its really bad that we have never been taught properly how to do it and just expected to know how - Im not the only one on my course feeling it really hard right now.  Do you reckon I can get it done by Friday? Ive got all day tomorrow - Ive worked on it all day to day and felt like I got no where!! Still its my fault for not doing it before and kept putting it off - but my mind couldnt cope back then - I was really down and depressed and stuff and it wasnt easy to study.  I really want to hand it in next week - I dont want to ask for an extension.

I got three promotional objects ordered today! A really good site www.vistaprint.co.uk - I got postcards ordered, a desk calendar and some post-it notes - will show you pics when I get them. So thats something done!!

No-one reading my journal much - bet alerts are playing up again - I still not getting yoru alerts Jan - I will come see you as soon as I can - at the moment Im very busy with my college stuff - but I still like to see you peeps - it keeps me sane!!!

Laine xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday

Feel funny today - can't put my finger on it.

Went to school for work placement - loved it! Really like being in a school - its a good atmosphere - there are so many troubled kids though - its sad - how do they know how to behave when their parents behave in such a bad way - some of them only know that shouting and swearing and storming out of a room is normal behaviour - how can you tell children off for that when that is all they know? All you can do is say that its not acceptable and hope they learn from the outside world and the world inside school - its very sad, very very sad.

One boy, who when we first entered the class was shouting and throwing things came out with such a beautiful statement it made me want to cry.  At the end of the day we were looking at the photographs we had taken and a picture came up of the sky and we asked the class what feeling it gave them. This little boy put his hand up and said 'freedom' - bless him - he said that sky is freedom there are no rules and no telling off - on the ground you get told off and cant do things.  Bless his little heart - he had so much anger in him - it makes you wonder what happens to him at home.  Can I be a teacher? Would I be able to do it? Its so hard!

I've got so much work to do - Im getting on with the dissertation - doing more and more each day - Im very confused with it though - and keep changing my mind on things - still got a bit of reading to do to - this is the list of other work I have to do:

Make power point presentation (15 mins) of my work or my dissertation.

Write a 500 word essay on what Proffessional Development means to me.

Keep a journal of work placement and write up how it helps me with my professional development.

Write a CV

Write an artist's statement.

Get together a folder with all my bits and pieces do with professional development - i.e. any emails, letters Ive written/received - any publications Ive been in or been part of, exhibitions Ive been to etc.

Make six promotional objects!

Do my actual artwork - which is cross stitch of text messages and film me doing it.

Keep a journal of my artwork too.

I think that is it - I might even have other little bits to do!!

Oh yeah I remember Ive got to get together a cd of all my pics in jpeg, and pfd or something cant remember got it written down somewhere. Oh blimey!!!

Well Ive got tomorrow, Ive got wednesday (thursday im in hospital having my hysteroscopy thing - got to rest all day after) and Ive got Friday - really want my dissertation finished by Friday then its got time to be looked over by tutor before deadline.

Sorry about all this - not interesting really is it but it really helped for me to write it all down - I really need all of you - you dont realise how much it helps to know you are listening! You have helped me through - especially Dianna - she is good at telling me straight - get on with it Laine!! LOL

Take care all

Laine xxxxxxx

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's day to all you mum's out there.  A special wish for our Jeannette and Sugar - Jeannette is home now and hopefully on the road to recovery.  Been praying for our friends.

Had a nice Mother's day - my mum and dad came for tea and also John's mum and dad too.  My boys werent that bothered really about making a fuss - sad when they grow up and its not exciting for them to make a fuss of me. John offered to take them out shopping yesterday - my Joe didnt want to be bothered and he said sam picked up the first thing he saw without any thought - awww sad isnt it!  But boys will be boys I spose!! John made up for it he did all the shopping and the cooking and the washing up today! Bless him - I will repay him later!! LOL Sara you stop thinking what you thinking!! ahem!!!!

Right Im off to do more college work - after Corrie!! LOL

See ya peeps

Laine xxxxx

flowers

 

John gave me these lovely flowers today for our anniversary - we also went out for a lovely lunch together in Rye - it was lovely to spend some time together on our special day.

Laine xxxxxxxxx

 

Six years today

John and I have been together six years today - on the 16th March 2001 we first met and went out together for a drink - we have been together ever since.

I met John on the internet - yahoo actually - back in them days Yahoo had directories and you could look through lists of people and see who was on line.  John was lonely - he knew his ex had met someone online - so one lonely night he looked through the list and clicked on me - he said Hello and said 'I said Hello as everyone else says Hi'.  I will never forget that first conversation!!  I was always chatting to people but somehow I knew John was different - I just had a feeling.  We arranged to meet after we had chatted on phone and sent numerous emails to each other, which I still have!  I was going through my divorce at the time and had just split up from my boyfriend Jason - so I was not feeling ready for another man at the time. John said he was not ready for another woman either.  We had the children in common and used to chat about them.  I think we got close without realising.  John's children lived in Sittingbourne, he had a caravan in Hastings and I lived in Brighton.  Mostly, we got together at weekends. I remember one Sunday night as John was leaving I cried and cried and hurt like I'd never hurt before - that day I knew how much I loved him - the love came over me without even trying. 

I still hurt when he leaves me - I still hurt when I leave him.  Somebody once said to me 'oh that wont last, you'll soon be moaning about him'. How wrong they were.  I still love him as much as that day I first realised I loved him - in fact I love him more and more each day.

Laine xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good day

Hi All,

Had great day at the school - my first day of work placement with the artist Susan Diab - click on the link and you will see who Im working with and the school.  What is on the website is the project they did last year with my Joe's year. This year we are working with year 3/4's - I can't post pics on here but you might see some on that website.

We have now finally succumbed to the fact that we have to buy a new fridge and freezer - in fact Im on my way to the web sites in a mo to try find them.  Hopefully can get interest free - we have not got much money at the mo - what with my trip to NY and we also have to replace 7 fence panels in our garden going to cost £540!!  Hopefully my student loan will be here soon!! Last installment!!! boo hoo!!

Thanks for all your comments - now Im wondering if Sara actually did google Dion and I wonder what you think of his art Sara!

Im at home all day tomorrow - so dissertation day again! Amazing how little time we have and how precious time is when you do have it!

Also after today working at the school - I really appreciate how lucky I am that my kids are brought up in a loving environment and that they are well behaved and lovely children - the teachers said to me today that they have never had such good children as sam and joe - how proud am I!!  I wonder if I will be able to be a good teacher - some of the children are very challenging!!

Nearly weekend!!!  Yay!!! 11 weeks left of college yikes!!!

Love Laine xxxx

 

Oscar says thanks

Oscar says woof woof and thanks for all his lovely birthday greetings - he did have a good day and he is asleep now and tired out - he went to his favourite beach at lunchtime and the tide was out - he retrieved pebbles out of rock pool and ran across the sands - mummy and daddy sat on a rock in the lovely sunshine.  His mummy got a bit of dissertation done but not as much as wanted - but at least its a start. 

Night night all and god bless xxxxxx